Antes que nada…

Lo único que deseo es pedir el perdón divino de Maddox. Si es que eso es posible. Por años he sido uno de sus fans e, irónicamente, el artículo que más me ha gustado es Si estas palabras fueran personas me volvería en genocida (If these words were people I would embrace their genocide), el cual son las mejor 23,586 palabras de ira que se hayan podido escribir en contra de los… bloggers…

Y sin embargo soy un blogger ahora. Pero como yo sé que esto revienta los huevos gigantescos del maestro, he decidido no ser un blogger como los bloggers que a Maddox les gustaría cortarle los testículos con una hacha oxidada escuchando a Mar de Copas.

Bloggers are ruining the internet. What are "bloggers"? They're fat--usually gothic--losers who keep web logs instead of hanging out with friends because they wet the bed and don't have any. A web log is a type of online diary where people who aren't important can pretend to be by writing to an imaginary audience. Girls are notorious for keeping these. On a typical site, you'll find a 17 year old girl with hundreds of webcam pictures of herself pasted everywhere, an Amazon wish list so they can exploit wankers that visit their site, and about 2 gigs worth of text documenting every time they took a shit, had an epiphany about taking a shit or ate something (all written in extremely stylish, yet IMPOSSIBLE TO READ micro-font).

Esto es lo que escribió el maestro en 2001, anticipando la avalancha de horas perdidas en el tecladeo de millones de bloggers que estaban por venir…

Y en el 2005…

Blog: The word "blog" is literally shorthand for "boring;" a vulgar, overused word that strikes your ear with the dull thud of a cudgel to the soft spot of a child's head. It's an abbreviation used by journalism drop outs to give legitimacy to their shallow opinions and amateur photography that seems to be permanently stuck in first draft hell. Looking in the archives of the blogs, one would expect someone who has been at it for years to slowly hone their craft and improve their writing and photographs, since it's usually safe to assume that if someone does something long enough, he or she will eventually not suck at it. Even with lowered expectations, you'll get a shotgun blast of disappointment in your face.

Blogger: Term used to describe anyone with enough time or narcissism to document every tedious bit of minutia filling their uneventful lives. Possibly the most annoying thing about bloggers is the sense of self-importance they get after even the most modest of publicity. Sometimes it takes as little as a referral on a more popular blogger's website to set the lesser blogger's ego into orbit.

Vlog: I don't even know if this is being used yet, but I suspect it will be used soon if it hasn't, so preemptive strike, bitches.


Vog: I


Vloggers: CAN'T


Vlogging: GO


Vlogged: ON


Moblog: ANYMORE.


Descubrí a Maddox en el 2004 y desde entonces me di cuenta de que lo peor en este mundo es no ver al emperador desnudo. Salve Maddox.



Maddox



If these words were people I would embrace their genocide